So, the special day came and casually passed by. I felt like doing nothing as it used to be previously- widely hunting for His `catchy but cozy’ dress, matching the accessories from head to toe, decorating His jhoola, lighting up the temple room, learning some new recipe for Bhog etc. Why did I lack the usual fervor – Am I drifting away or is He drawing me closer? – HE only knows. As on my part, I treasure this ‘guilt’ of inertia as it seems to be actually a ‘guide’ in disguise for the journey ahead.
In fact, as it is said that He labors really hard to get an ignorant on the track, I am always a cause of much ado for Him and He is too sweet to ever feel sick of me. By His design again, I just happened to open the chapter 13 of Bhagwad Gita. It gives the detail about body being a work field, its distinction from the soul (aatma) and the presence of Supreme Soul (Parmatma) within. Though already read before, this time what hit me personally was the role that Parmatma plays once He becomes active in our conscience. If we invoke Him even once, He readily takes up the charge of directing our thoughts and approving/ disapproving our actions. I reflected for a while to see where I stand. He is there I know- all time around, yet do I really follow His guidance? It is primarily my own preferences that steer my conduct. Yes, there is often something called inner voice and I do try to comply with it but not at the cost of my ease.
Further, I was reminded of Acharya Vinoba Bhave’s discourse on Purushotam Yoga – Ch 15 of Gita. It is about integrating the human being (Purush), nature (Prakriti) and Supreme Soul (Purushottam) through the vision that Lord pervades everything. The Acharya suggested perceiving the whole universe as a means of worship. If we are able to relate our every routine activity with Him, all our actions become acts of pure service. On that note, I was compelled to inquire if I could practically see His presence inside me and also inside others. My ‘not so’ affirmative answer confirmed that I serve His idol simply because I find it convenient to handle Him as per my way instead of myself being His way.
Now there is a stalemate. How long will it take to lead me forward- He only knows!😃